new year, new life

2010 has nearly come to an end and i can't help but think about the changes i want to make for 2011. i'm not huge on the whole resolution hype, but i do think it gives everyone a good time to start making some changes.

i don't know that 2011 will be able to top my 2010 for all-time favourite years...2010 was a big year for us. the highlight was obviously the birth of kingston. my life feels so much more purposeful as a mom. i knew from a very early age that i wanted children and now that i am a mom i feel like children are my passion in life.

are you a big resolution person?

these are the things i want 2011 to bring...

1. i want to go back to school to obtain my ECE.
2. i want to lose the last of my flabbiness from being pregnant. actually, it's not necessarily weight i want to lose as i weigh less now than i did before i was pregnant, but i need to tighten and tone a whole lot of areas!
   
3. i want to spend as much time as possible doing family things. i want kingston to feel loved and nurtured...that is the absolute most important thing.
4. i want to finish our living room (hang the television, reface the fireplace, get an area rug, get an upholstered ottoman to hide kinston's tacky (super fun) toys).
5. i want to frame and hang pictures of our family and friends.
6. i want to expand our family.

i am excited to see what the future holds for me. i know that if i focus my attention on the things i need to, things will only get better.

i feel so blessed to have the life i do and can't wait to see how much better it gets.

easton adam has finally arrived!

he's here, he's here, he's here!

i was shocked when i got the news this morning that our great friends had their baby...and a BOY! they didn't find out what they were having and since they already have a little girl i think i had girl in my head. i was wrong!



baby easton adam arrived this morning at 5:46am weighing a healthy 6lb 4oz. he's so unbelievably cute.


i can't wait to watch easton and kingston grow up to be little buddies for life. it was amazing to meet their little girl avery, but now that i have kingston...new babies mean so much more to me. it never ceases to amaze me how my life and outlooks have changed since becoming a mom. i love it.

christmas is for the kids

wow...what a different outlook i had on christmas this year. cameron and i have always gone over and above for christmas and this year we took a different approach. we focussed everything we purchased on the children in our life and had so much fun shopping for each and every one of them.

of course this year was all about kingston. what an absolute JOY he is to our lives. he has so much personality, he's affectionate, he wears his heart on his little sleeve. he made my christmas so much more than what it has been in the past. watching him ponder ribbons, bows, wrapping paper and gifts was amazing. the look of concentration in a baby just melts my heart. they're so naive to the world, so perfect...a completely blank slate that is formed by their parents.

kingston's schedule was all over the place the past week and it was all worth it. we didn't miss out on anything, we enjoyed great food, excellent company, a few drinks, and some great food. what more can anyone ask for? we had the season of our lives and can't wait to see what the future holds.

i was blessed with an amazing son in 2010....that was the only christmas present i ever could have dreamed of.

thank you cameron for giving me an amazing baby boy, and thank you kingston for making my life so purposeful. i love you both with all i've got.

my sick little boy

well it's been a long few weeks around the martyn household. first i got a cold, then kingston got a cold, and them cameron got the cold too. it's been non-stop for a few weeks and it's absolutely exhausting! kingston's dragged on for a while and finally after having a fever for a day and a half i decided i would take him to emergency. i called the bc healthlink hotline (what a godsend that line is sometimes) and they recommended i take him in immediately...so i listened.

after waiting a good 3 hours, the doctor finally was able to check the poor little dude out. he checked his ears and right away knew he had two nasty ear infections. to be cautious he decided to get some bloodwork done and also sent him for a chest x-ray to rule out pnemonia. all i was thinking was how bad i felt for my poor tired little baby who now was going to be poked in the arm with a needle and then sent for an x-ray.

those that know kingston know that he's such a charmer. he constantly flirts, he smiles all the time, giggles, and is just a silly little boy. the nurses absolutely loved him and thought he was just so cute (obviously...right?). the lady came to take his blood so dada got to hold his head and distract him and i held his arm in place. she put the elastic band around his bicep and was preparing for the big scream...but nothing. no scream at all. what did we hear instead? the sweet sound of a very ticklish boy giggling!! yes, my tough little charmer giggled the whole way through getting his blood taken. what a relief.

anyways, we're on day 3 now of the antibiotics and things are hopefully looking better. his ears are improving but he's still got a wicked smokers-cough and has a few characteristics of the flu (yuck). i'm keeping my fingers crossed for a healthy baby soon...PLEASE!

the only thing i'm happy about is that we're getting this all over and done with before christmas arrives...which is in a mere 9 days for our family's first day of christmas celebrations!

the christmas spirit has entered the martyn home!

well i spent a good hour yesterday putting up the few decorations we have at home. we are getting a real tree so that will have to wait until mid-December...but the rest of the festive decor is up and in its place for another christmas season! this is by far the earliest that ive decorated our house and i absolutely love it! it seems a lot of people have decorated early...maybe its the crisp weather we have had?

this friday i am spending the day doing some christmas baking, making homemade christmas decorations with my cousins, and enjoying some holiday cheer. i am sooo excited! ive got a few things planned and i am looking forward to seeing how our projects turn out.


what are your favourite chritmas treats???? this year im planning on attempting chocolate truffles with different coatings, a few different cookies, perhaps some squares, macaroons...hmm...the list could go on for ages. i guess the real list will probably be quite a bit shorter as baking with a 5 month old is nearly impossible! maybe daddy will want some extra baby time this weekend so i can finish off some baking!

my great friend makes the BEST pumpkin loaf which i doubt i will ever be able to top but i might even attempt something similar to that. im sitting here salivating over all of these delicious treats and then wondering why im not losing any weight. oh well, thats what january is for...right?

the christmas to-do list is getting shorter by the day. im hoping to finish early this year in hopes that we can really relax and enjoy the holidays. kingston is going to be celebrating his very first christmas and i want to make it extra special!! im trying to think of creative things to put in his stocking (well, for santa to put in his stocking of course!)...bath bombs, a sippy cup, some toys, socks...so fun :)

what are you putting in your kids stockings this year???

these are the best days of my life

i have never been so amazed by the power of unconditional love since i became a mom. not a day has passed that i've thought "wow...i wish i could turn back time and go back to the way life was before having kingston". he has made each day brighter and has opened up endless doors in my future.

the endless diaper changes, the exhaustion by bed time, the lack of any personal time...it's all so worth it! every night i put kingston to bed and i have a sense of relief that he's gone to bed for the night. i finally can relax, unwind, and prepare for another day. while it's such a relief to finally lay my head on my pillow, the moment he wakes up starts a new day and i feel like i fall more and more in love with this small person every single day. he truly brightens my day with his big smiles, his precious hands touching my face, his sniffly sick little nose, his coos, his laughter, his darling little feet that he loves to rub together. i just love everything about him. he's got an amazing personality, so full of life at only 4.5 months old. it's unreal how much love a mama can have for her baby.

i always worried that i would lose my patience with him. i'm sure many girls remember babysitting and just dying to be done for the day and get out of their. so sick of the crying, the fighting, the whining, etc. i always questioned whether i would feel that way about my own babies someday...thankfully it's so not like that! no matter how often he cries, whines, or protests anything i still love him just as much as i did when he was smiling and laughing at me.

i am so thankful every day that i was blessed with a happy, bright, intelligent, and full of life little boy. since the moment our eyes met we have had a connection that no one else will share! how special is that?

one of my favourite weekend holiday spots!

since my nanny passed away my mom decided it would be a great idea to all go away and just hang out for a weekend. one of our favourite places to escape for the weekend is whistler...we all love it up there!

none of us have been up since the olympics were there so it was super fun to go and see the olympic rings and to browse the village. it was an off time of year to stay in whistler, but we had such a great weekend.

we browsed the shops, bought a few things, ate some good food, enjoyed a few drinks...and just relaxed and enjoyed our stay. i indulged in way too many coffees from starbucks! they just are too delicious to pass up. i love my high-maintence lattes and enjoy every sip of them!

kingston did really well travelling up there. we switched him over to his "big boy" carseat and he's a GEM in the car now! for the last 4.5 months the poor kid has absolutely hated his carseat. he would scream from point a to point b or until he fell asleep...whichever came first. i always dreaded going anywhere because i knew it would be a long and very loud ride. whistler was our first long drive in the car and he did remarkably well! we made it all the way to squamish without a break...and the break in squamish was for his mama and daddy to pitstop at starbucks!

we had an amazing holiday...even if just for one night :)

oh...and on a side note - i'm totally underwhelmed with starbucks' christmas decor this year! it's so bland and not christmas-y!!! does anyone agree?!

tis the season!

i started my christmas shopping today! i feel so good...like i'm so far ahead of the game. the thing is, i do this every year. i buy a couple things early and then forget that the time passes quickly and before i know it, it's december 15th and i have a whole lot of gifts to buy in only a few short days.

i'm thinking that option isn't there anymore. i'm so determined this year to get it done early, and pace myself. i don't want to be scrambling last minute for all of my gifts. i want to be able to relax and enjoy the season...and i want to be able to find things that people will truly like, not things that i've just come across last minute and figure "it'll do"...

i love christmas. i love everything about christmas. this christmas will be extra special for me and our family because we have kingston! he's an absolute JOY to be around so i'm super pumped to see him ripping paper and playing with ribbon. he loves bright colours and i'm sure he will just love having everyone around him. he won't really understand what is happening this year, but as the years pass i know he will enjoy it more and more.

this year i'm focussing on the kids in our life. as adults we can buy ourselves the things we need and what...but kids get so much joy out of openings presents...that's what christmas is about for me. what i've always loved is watching my cousins rip open their presents and seeing the look of absolute joy and surpise on their faces. it's such a special moment that we really only get to enjoy as a family once a year. and this year our friends kids are old enough to know that they're getting christmas presents...so we'll get to brighten a few more kids days!!

i'm so excited i'm jumping inside... 44 days!

...well that wasn't so bad!

we made it through our first full day of cloth diapering and it really wasn't bad at all! actually, i enjoyed it. cloth diapering (while good for the environment, and good for the wallet) actually gives me something fun to do when i'm changing kingston. i can pick out which colour, which brand, which style, which pattern, etc and it's actually a lot of fun!

i only have 7 diapers right now...i have several more coming in the mail so i will have to wash every day, but wow...who knew how easy this would be? the hanging diaper pail i bought has a zipper on the bottom so when i need to do wash, i just open the washer, unzip the bag...the diapers fall into the bag and i start the washing machine (bag goes in too) and presto...i have all clean diapers and i didn't need to even get my hands dirty!

kingston seemed to love them. they're a little more bulky, but the fabric on his skin is so much more plush and soft for his little heiny :) here's a picture of my sweet little man in his bum genius one size pocket diaper...

we're heading up to whistler this morning until tomorrow so we will be using disposables this trip...but i think next time we do a one-nighter i will attempt the clothies there too. i don't have a wet bag for my diaper bag yet, so once that comes we're set!

we're making the switch

well i've made up my mind and i'm going cloth! diapers that is...

i have put in a few orders and am so excited to get them in the mail. i got my first order today...one elemental bum genius all in one diaper, and one bum genius pocket diaper! can't wait to get the rest of the parcels in the mail so i can get them all prepped and ready to be used! i know this is going to be an adventure that we'll need to work into our already busy lives, but it is so worth it.

it costs an average of $1500 to diaper a baby from newborn to potty training. ouch! not to mention that all of those diapers find their way into the garbage can. i can tell you our family garbage has increased dramatically since kingston was born...and all he does is use diapers. it's crazy actually. not only is it a huge cost savings right now...but it will continue to be for our next baby too.

another thing about cloth - they are super fun to shop for!!! i absolutely love browsing the internet for deals on things. i've saved us so much money surfing the net...and now i have another item to shop for. there are different brands, different styles, and my favourite of all - different colours, patterns, textures, etc! i could sit on my computer for hours browsing for diapers. who knew my life would turn this way?

i'm going to try out several different brands of diapers to see what we like best, least, etc. i've read a little bit about each brand and hopefully we'll be settled into our cloth diaper world very shortly. the brands i've got coming are: bum genius, swaddlebees, fuzzibunz, ecobumz, happy heiny, comfyrumps, amp, sunbaby, and blueberry....i think that's it... all of them are different colours, some are minky in texture, and one is even camo patterned. i'm so excited!

the joys in the life of a mama...

a very scary lion!

well, halloween has come and gone and kingston hardly knew it. he was dressed as a lion...a very very scary lion. yeah right, the baby slept almost the whole time; silly boy. he was strapped to his daddy in the baby bjorn and loved every minute of it. we were tempted to bring him up to the doors with the other kids to trick-or-treat but figured that looked kinda greedy....although i'm dying for some halloween candy!

i'm already looking forward to him running around next year...chasing the other kids, collecting mommy and daddy some goodies!

saying goodbye is never easy

the last thing i ever expected to happen actually happened. my nanny passed away while we were in mexico. she was an amazing woman, so healthy and so strong. she lived for her family and it was very clear that everyone she knew meant the world to her.

born may 6, 1911...she was 99 and a half when she passed away. we were certain she was going to make it to her 100th birthday, but the world had other plans for her. i still cant believe she is gone from the world...but at 99 years old, she lived a very full life. she had 4 children, 17 grandchildren, 36 great-grandchildren, and 4 great-great grandchildren. her husband passed away 31 years ago and she was alone ever since. he was her soul mate and she always told us that.

when i got the call in mexico from my mom, it was 6:30am. automatically i knew that something was wrong. no one calls someone on vacation that far away unless it is something serious. i thought it was about my opa who was having surgery, so when i heard it was my nanny i was crushed. when someone is 99 years old, it feels like they will live forever.

my nanny and i were so close when i was a kid. i used to sleep over at her apartment where she would always french braid my hair before bed. when i woke up i would take the braids out and be left with perfect waves in my hair. never once was there a tangle in my hair from the braids...she was the best braider! even at 99 she could still french braid; although not nearly as tight as they used to be.

what makes me the most sad is knowing that kingston will never get to know her like i did. she loved all the little ones in her life and only got to meet kingston a couple of times. i am thankful to have gotten a picture of her holding kingston, but am sad that we never got a 5 generation photo.

the one memory that we all share with nanny was her love for the song the rose. every event we had she always asked for us to sing her the rose. she would sit there and just smile and listen. occasionally a few tears would roll down her cheeks. every time i hear that song now, it brings tears to my eyes.

nanny, i will always always always remember you and your pure spirit. you were a woman of perfection. thank you for so many wonderful memories. i know you are in your happy place right now and that makes me so happy. i love you so much and will miss you like crazy. see you again in the future!



The Rose Lyrics - Bette Midler

Some say love, it is a river
That drowns the tender reed
Some say love, it is a razor
That leaves your soul to bleed

Some say love, it is a hunger
An endless aching need
I say love, it is a flower
And you, its only seed

It's the heart, afraid of breaking
That never learns to dance
It's the dream, afraid of waking
That never takes the chance

It's the one who won't be taken
Who cannot seem to give
And the soul, afraid of dying
That never learns to live

When the night has been too lonely
And the road has been too long
And you think that love is only
for the lucky and the strong

Just remember in the winter
Far beneath the bitter snow
Lies the seed
That with the sun's love, in the spring
Becomes the rose

memories that last forever

we made it home from mexico in one piece. what an amazing holiday we had. it was a completely different trip than we had the last time we were in mexico for our wedding, but it was so special. i will definitely remember this holiday for the rest of my life.

kingston loves the heat. i discovered that this past summer when i was bracing myself for a miserable baby who was too hot and uncomfortable...it turned out he was his happiest on the hottest days that we spent outside. he loves the outdoors, he loves the water, and he loves the heat. we honestly could not have picked a better type of vacation for this dream baby. he napped on the beach, he napped by the pool, one day he even fell asleep in the ocean.

we swam every day, ate meals as a family, and really tried to make the most of our time together. cameron works long hours so it was so nice to have him for a full week...his 100% undevided attention all week!!! kingston really enjoyed having his mama and dadda by his side all the time. he really was in heaven on that vacation.

we were lucky to have camerons parents with us. they really helped us out!! they took kingston at times when we needed a break (the plane ride, meals, etc) and im sure they loved their time with him too. it was so special to watch them interact with him in such a beautiful place on earth. such a relaxed time in our lives. kingston napped on them, played with them, laughed with them, and shared endless amounts of smiles. it was fantastic.

one of my highlights of the trip was parasailing with cameron. it was a breathtaking view of the caribbean ocean. the colour of the water is undescribable.

its hard to believe our holiday is over already. i am looking so forward to our next family vacation...fingers are crossed it is just as amazing as this one was.

changes need to be made

i cant help but write something on the recent headlines that have made international news regarding bullying.

..why do people think they have the right to treat people in such a disrespectful manner?

...why do people think it is ok to bully someone because they are unique in some way?

....why do people assume they are better than someone?

.....why do some people think their time is more valuable than someone elses?

one of the most amazing things about the human race is our individuality. our ability to make our own decisions. having the freedom to develop into a unique person who contributes positively to the planet.

its a shame that it takes suicides and death for people to start taking some action, but at least its a start...and hopefully its just the beginning of a long list of changes ahead.



there is not much one individual person can do about bullying, but if everyone unites and joins forces, changes can definitely be made. as dr. phil always says, standing by and watching someone be bullied is just as bad as the person doing the bullying and i most definitely agree.

what breaks my heart is when innocent children are bugged and tormented for things they have no control over. if a baby is born into a family without the funds to buy the best clothes, shoes, hair products...why do others feel they can harrass that child? these kids were never given the option of who their family was, or how much money they make. its such a tragedy to know that these children go home feeling inadequate...

what i can do, and most definitely will, is raise my children to give everyone a fair chance. i will teach them that a persons shape, size, gender, sexual preference, etc do not determine who they are...they are merely characteristics of the cover of their book. i will also teach them to be strong and to stand up for themselves should they ever be bullied. each and every one of us is a valuable person on this planet and we all deserve to be treated as such.

oh turkey how i will miss you...

its just about thanksgiving in canada and i am realizing how many things i have to be thankful for. life can be difficult some days, but i sit back and realize the things i have been blessed with, the day seems to brighten.


i am thankful for being a canadian and having the opportunity to stay home and nuture my babies for a full year. now that i have kingston, my outlook on life has changed dramatically. i am thankful for the changes he has made in me. never again will i not be happy with just being me. it feels so special to be the one person in my little boys life that he relies on 100%. he cant talk, but through his actions, his smiles, his giggles i know he loves me and that alone is enough to make me smile each and every day. life passes by so fast; kingston reminds me every day to sit back and enjoy the moments we share.

i am so thankful for my husband. without cameron my life would crazy. he does so much for us and every day i remind myself of those things. he is a provider, he strives to achieve high goals, he is a dreamer who dreams big and wont settle for anything less. he has provided us with a home that fits our needs, cars that take us to fantastic destinations, and provides us with all the love and support anyone could ask for...especially when we need it most.

i am thankful for my family...all of them. i am thankful that we are a big family with a diverse group of personalities. while we dont always share the same opinions or outlooks, we will always share the unconditional love that a family shares. i sometimes wish we could turn the clocks back five years because those really were some of the best times we shared as a family. things have dramatically changed, but i try to be optimistic that things will improve again....slowly but surely they will.

i am thankful for my inlaws...mom, dad, brothers & sister. i am so blessed to have married into the martyn family. they are such hard workers and have taught me so much about life.

i am thankful for my friends who are there when i need to vent, when i need to laugh, when i need some fun and relaxing time. like any relationship, friendships have their up and down times but things always work themselves out because there are far more good times than there are difficult ones. sometimes it seems like my friends just "get me" more than my family (and sometimes husband) get me. i cherish all of my friends and am so thankful to have them in my life.

this year we dont get to have the traditional thanksgiving turkey dinner. i am sad we wont get to enjoy it, but today i am absolutely most thankful for our upcoming vacation. while we wont have our turkey dinner in the company of our full families, we will be creating many amazing memories on the beaches of the mayan riviera! we are staying at the grand sunset princss resort in the platinum club. we will have 24 hour room service, unlimited food, endless drinks and nothing to worry about!! i feel like right now, more than ever, i need a vacation. i need some time to just get away and enjoy my little family.

i love to laugh!

anyone who knows me knows i absolutely love to laugh, and more than that...i love prank shows. i could watch them for hours at a time and laugh uncontrollably. i love the music montages that americas funniest home videos shows, i love howie do it, candid camera, just for laughs: gags....seriously, all of them.

i am usually that person that gets the giggles and cant stop laughing; and usually at something that i should not even be laughing at in the first place!

its awful, but i love seeing people trip, fall, get scared, walk into things...oh man!

mealtime blues

one of the things i have had a really rough time getting back into is cooking well balanced healthy meals. i feel like we are always coming up with some last-minute half-assed meal we like to call "dinner".

i guess it is especially difficult because that seems to be kingston's fussy time. i know its not a good idea to just pick him up all the time when he whines, but when he is tired and fussy and all he wants is to be loved by his mama, its so hard to refuse him that. hes still young...only 3 months old, so i will continue to take advantage of all his cuddles while he is still willing to give them!

i am going to make more of an effort once we get back from our holiday. i have to...i am tired of eating whatever is left in the fridge.

does anyone have any recommended websites for recipies and cooking ideas??

last night i sauteed up some apples with asparagus. i used that to stuff chicken bites and then wrapped them in bacon and pan fried them. they were delicious! as for tonight...who knows. it is always a mystery!

family adventures

a moonlit walk in whiterock

hanging out at the pne

passed out at playland

family picnic at mill lake park.

brisk summer day at crescent beach

at the abbotsford agrifair

summer lovin, had me a blast!

wow...what a summer we had. there were adjustments to be made in our life but cameron and i both made a commitment that we would not let having children stop us from enjoying life, and living it to the fullest. we have done our best to stay commited to that promise.

the one thing we did not get to do this summer was camp. not because we didnt want to take kingston camping, but we really just didnt have the time to fit it in. we tried numerous times and it just never really worked out.

the recovery of the c-section was far easier than i expected it to be. i had about 4 or 5 pretty rough days where i relied on cameron for everything. i couldnt get out of bed on my own, i couldnt dress myself, i couldnt even go to the bathroom without some assistance. having a baby took every bit of pride i had left right out from underneath of me! regardless of all that, it was worth it and i would do it again tomorrow...well, maybe i will wait a little longer than tomorrow!

while i wasnt able to participate in all our fun activities, i sure made my best attempt! i went to the waterslides, playland, the pne...we had a lot of visitors and spent a lot of time just doing things as a family. it was amazing. one of my favourite summers. having a baby changed the way we spent our summer, but it improved it in so many ways! cameron and i for the first time feel like we are our own family now. not just two people married to one another. our lives are forever joined.

being off work has been so great. right now i dont see myself doing anything but raising my baby to be a healthy, happy, successful person. he is an amazing person already, and he makes me proud every day. i feel sorry for those poor mamas who have to go back to work after just a short time with their newborns. i feel lucky every day that i am in canada with great benefits. where else do you get 50 weeks off to enjoy and nurture your babies?????

life as a mom is absolute bliss. its something i have always wanted and now that i am living that dream, its so much better than i ever expected. the unconditional love i have for my baby is something i cant even put into words. he really lights up my world and makes me want to be a better person every day.

i love waking up in the mornings. right now i dont really think life could be much better.

the newest love of my life

labour never really is just as you plan it to be

wow. what a journey the delivery of my precious little boy was! i was expecting it to be difficult, i was expecting it to be emotional, i was expecting it to be exhausting; but having never been through it before, the unknown was petrifying. i never was nervous about labour. and i assumed that was because i never pictured myself delivering a baby naturally. i never feared that pain. i should have though!

i ended up labouring for a total of 44 hours before the baby finally graced us with his presence. it was an emotional rollercoaster and worth every ounce of pain, pressure, exhaustion. cameron was an absolute GEM in the delivery room.

i had a solid 24 hours of early labour with contractions coming every 5 minutes. not strong, but definitely good solid contractions. i went to the hospital wednesday night after contracting since 4am that morning, they checked me and i'd finally started to efface and was about 1cm dilated - sweeeet (or so i thought). we went home for the night and were told to come back to see my dr. at 7:45am and he'd do another assessment then to see how the night progressed. i was supposed to be induced the next day anyways, so it wasn't an issue at all.

walking the baby out!

woke up at 1:45am in the middle of the night with a REAL contraction. i was screaming in my sleep. barely knew what hit me. when people tell you that you will just know when you are in labour...they are 100% right!! my contractions were hard, long, and steady at about 7 minutes apart. we went to our 7:45am appointment at the hospital and they said i'd effaced a bit more and was niow 1-2 cm. at least enough that my dr. could get in and do a quick sweep.i thought it was no big deal. they said to go home, labour at home for a while and come back at 1pm or sooner should i need anything for pain.

my contractions totally picked up in intensity and i decided at about 12:15 that i wanted to go back and just labour there...just in case things got worse and i needed something for pain. the car ride was awful as i had 4 contractions in the car (thanks to hitting EVERY red light!!). they admitted me right away and i laboured at the hospital for another hour or so before asking for my options for pain medication.

i used laughing gas for a while and was in the shower for a good 5 hours with 2 nurses and cameron all doing things to keep me comfortable. it was going really well until baby flipped posterior and my pain was absolutely incredible!!!! by 6pm i asked for an epidural because i couldn't tolerate it anymore. my dr. came and broke my waters shortly after i asked, but the epidural didn't show up until an hour and a half later!!!!!

it was brutal, totally brutal. i was screaming in pain, absolutely hysterical. got the epirdural finally and laboured for another 5 hours. the epidural was really patchy so i still had a ton of pain they kept having to top it up because even with the epidural i was forced to use laughing gas and was in total agony when contractions hit.

FINALLY i hit 10cm and was ready to push. we got things all sorted out (baby was still fiarly high), gave a good 6 pushes and baby's heartrate dropped with every one. if it only dropped al ittle it wouldn't have been a huge deal, but it dropped 60 beats per minute, so clearly major distress.

we decided then to go with a c-section and just get him out safe and healthy. ahhhh, what a long road!!! even the c-section was tough. as they were pulling him out, they had his head...he managed to squirm back and was laying lengthwise across my belly!!! what a nightmare.

long story short, he's here and he's healthy. we're finally went home after 4 long days in the hospital.

we named him kingston cohen martyn. he was born on june 18, 2010 at 1:32am weighing a healthy 7 lb 14 oz and was absolutely perfect!

our first family photo. love at first sight.

labour!!!

yeowwwwwch!!!! so THAT's what a labour pain feels like!!! i laboured all day yesterday (june 16) from 4am until we went to the hospital around 8:45pm. my contractions were consistent at 5-6 minutes apart for a good hour or so. they had progressively gotten closer and closer together but without too much intensity. i could definitely walk and talk right through all of them. walking seemed to bring them closer together so i walked on and off allllll day.

i decided after doing a couple laps at the lake to go to the hospital just to check things out and see if i really was in labour and to see if i had made any progress compared to my appointment. i got to the hospital and they put me in the maternity triage area to monitor me. they did a non stress test on the baby and everything looked good with him. they monitored my contractions and confirmed i was indeed contracting every 5-6 minutes but because i could walk and talk my way through them all (they weren't tough at all), it was probably best that i go home and rest and see if they intensify or change throughout the night.

we got home around 10:30pm and had a quick bite to eat. i had a nice warm bath with mineral salts and creme bath and just relaxed. i crawled into bed shortly after the bath and attempted to sleep. right, so i'm probably a day away from having this baby and i'm supposed to sleep???

so here i sit, wide awake just before 2:00am on june 17th after being awoken by a REAL contraction. ouch ouch ouch! i thought i was dying! thank god (sort of) i haven't had another really bad one like that yet...there's many more worse to come my way.

it looks like this baby is finally on his way....yipeeeee!!!!

we've got some dates!...or so they say

i had my 41 week appointment yesterday and it was pretty bittersweet. i still have yet to dilate to even 1 cm, so it looks like an induction is imminent. the doctor again was unable to even do a sweep so i'm going in for a cervidil induction first on thursday. i have to give the hospital a call to ensure they can fit me in on thursday. i guess how it works is i go in, they insert this little flap of medicated goodness up behind my cervix, i hang around for an hour or so to make sure baby is all good, and then they send me home. i'm sure hoping this does the trick on its own, but with the trend my body has made...i'm thinking it won't do it in which case i will be induced with pitocin hopefully on friday.

when i called the hospital to make sure i go home after getting the cervidil, the nurse made it sound like they attempt the cervidil more than once. well i sure hope she's wrong, because the doctor made it pretty clear that friday would be a pitocin/oxytocin induction. long story short, that means baby will be here by the weekend hopefully! normally i would just let my body take it's course and do it's thing, but because my dates were all messed up and we changed the due date to a date based soley on a ultrasound measurement i could be a little farther along than we think. either way...it's baby time!

my mom will be away in las vegas starting thursday night, along with one of my aunts and one of my uncles. i'm sure i'll have plenty of visitors while they're away...and baby martyn will still be here when they return. it's not like they're gone forever. i was absolutely ecstatic to hear my mother-in-law is coming home on thursday!!! she made it back for the birth of the baby. i couldn't be happier about that. she's actually coming with me (provided timing is ok) to get my cervidil induction at the hospital. her flight lands at 8:30am, so if it works out i'll have here there to hang out with me for a bit. either way, i'm sooo excited to have her home!

my waiting game just got a lot shorter :)

yes, i'm still pregnant!

well i'm still pregnant. officially i am 6 days overdue and still feeling as good as i did at 30 weeks pregnant! i'll hit 41 tomorrow and i'm so anxious to see the doctor and hear what he's got to say. i'm interested to know if i've made ANY progress in terms of dilating, etc. if not, i'm really going to push for this induction. i'm feeling really comfortable and can't complain about a thing in the world, but i really do want this baby out so i can start the recovery process. i want my body back, i want to be able to sleep comfortably at night, i want to meet my baby!!

i really do have an amazing husband. he's been my saving grace so many days. i've had a few days here and there where i feel down, just not quite myself. he's been so thoughtful to do anything he can to make my life easier. he brings me treats home after work, he hangs out with me in the evenings, he eats dinner at the table with me, walks with me, i just love him to bits. i always wondered how he would be when i was pregnant, and he's gone over and above any expectations i would have ever had!

the past six days have been fairly pleasant. i've questioned a couple of times if "this was it" but it never has been. i've walked more than i've ever walked before. i've enjoyed dates at starbucks with family and friends. all in all, i've just enjoyed life!

we cleared a bunch of junk out of the house so we're actually feeling like we're gaining space finally! cameron is eager to close in his garage, so clearing a lot of that stuff out was a huge weight off his back. he's worked his tail off getting the basement into shape, the carport cleaned out, everything organized. it's just been amazing.

we picked up a rocking chair for our nursery which i absolutely love. it's an old wooden rocking chair that has been painted a dark grey/brown. i bought a nice white fur rug (faux of course) to go underneath and it just ties the whole nursery together. i can't wait to rock our little prince in there and feed him in peace. we just need to find a few things to hang on the walls and we'll be set. some curtains would be nice...but we'll find those at some point down the road. it's all coming together nicely.

stay tuned, this baby is coming out soon whether he wants to or not! i dont imagine i'll be allowed to go past 14 days, so that's coming up quickly!

nesting, home renovations, and full-term baby!

well it's been a rollercoaster of emotions the past couple days and i'm glad i made it through!

my sister in law was due july 3rd with her 2nd little one and her water broke 2 days before my due date. it was the most bittersweet moment i've experienced in ages. i was so excited for her, so excited to be an auntie again, so excited that the martyn family (although she's an arn...) would be expanding, and of course very excited our little guy would have a cousin so close in age. the part that really got to me was that because she lives in calgary, that meant my mother in law would be gone for 2 weeks to help her out. i was heartbroken. i had a complete meltdown that lasted for quite some time. and thankfully, for cameron and a great friend, i made it through it all and saw the positive light at the end of the tunnel. it was so hard not to be selfish at that point...and it wasn't like i wanted her here for me, i wanted her here to hold her grandson in the hospital and all that fun that comes with a fresh delivery. anyways, i got over it and i feel so blessed to have her and the rest of my inlaws close by. i feel sad that my sister in law lives so far away!

after having her water break nearly 4 weeks early, morgan lynne paige arn arrived at a very health 6lb 10.2oz on june 6, 2010. as far as we've heard everything is well and good with the little arn clan...hopefully they can get home shortly...hospitals are never all that fun!

i spent the entire day yesterday cleaning our house...and not just cleaning, really cleaning. i washed light fixtures, went through old boxes, dusted everything, swept and washed all the floors, organized the laundry room, cut up all our fresh fruit so it's convenient and ready to eat, really...i cleaned everything! it felt amazing to check so much off my list of things to do! i wondered all day if this was what people call nesting or if i was just forcing myself to get everything done as time is quickly ticking away (well....not too quickly that is...).

cameron finished the floors last night!! we were up until 10:30 finishing them, but they look fantastic! the stairs are done, the railing is up, the moldings are all back up...it looks amazing! i was so happy to have them done. i could tell cameron was overjoyed they were done. he works so incredibly hard at work and home so i was really happy to see one more of his projects be checked off his list. my life would be so much more difficult if i didn't have him. i realize every day how much he actually does for me to make my life easier...he's an absolutely amazing partner in life and i wouldn't have it any other way. he's like my superman who constantly rescues me. i love him with every ounce of me.

i've officially reached my 40 weeks today. this baby is fully cooked and the world is now waiting for his arrival. i'm feeling anxious for him to come, and part of me feels like he won't come on his own. as much as i'm dreading an induction...something about it just seems like it's looming over me. i have a doctor's appointment today, so that will hopefully stir things up a bit. we shall see...

tick tock, tick tock, tick tock

it's been a great couple days. feeling the baby slowly drop again is such a relief. although the fears of labour still have yet to kick in...i know it will be better longterm if i can deliver the baby naturally. i'm so incredibly excited. every braxton hicks contraction i get i wonder "if it's time"...

i've been drinking red raspberry leaf tea, walking often, squatting often; all in hopes that this little guy makes his way to his final destination. the thought of being induced makes me a little nervous, just because it's all-or-nothing. i would rather my body take it's course and safely go through the process of labour. the thing i don't like about induction is that you're hooked up to an IV and it forces your body to do something it's not yet ready to do. trust me though, at 10 days past my due date i'm sure i'll be ready for that IV...

i managed to get our hospital bags packed yesterday. i put a list out for cameron and a list out for me of the last minute things we need to throw in our bags. this way, i hope we haven't forgotten anything. our camera battery is fully charged now so we'll have plenty of battery time for snapping photos. pictures are so important to me.

the whole reason i created this blog was because i have an awful memory. i don't know why, but i really don't remember anything long term...and i want to be able to look back and remember all the little details of our journey into labour, the amazing milestones our children make, the daytrips our children get to experience. i really don't remember much before i was 12 or 13...and i'm only 26, so that's not far away!

when i was in and around that age i was hit by a car while riding my bike. i ended up landing on my head (wearing a helmet thank goodness) after being thrown in the air. my helmet was totally cracked in half. scary, but perhaps that's where my bad memory came from. i've always wondered...

cameron has been working so hard getting the house projects complete before the arrival of our little man. the wood on the stairs is nearly complete, the front door is almost ready to be hung. he's got a few smaller things to work on once the big jobs are done and then our house will finally be almost where we need it to be. of course, there's always little finishing jobs that need to be taken care of as well...owning a 35 year old house means always having something that needs to be updated, fixed, etc.

while he fixes things around the house, i've spent most of my first few days of maternity leave just relaxing and trying to enjoy them before my life gets turned upside down. i was so excited this week as one of my favourite people in the world, my youngest sister mallory, left school early and we went to the states to just hang out. we had such a fun and relaxing day. we ate pizza, drank pop, shopped, and just strolled the mall looking at little things here and there. it was a lot of fun...i'll miss being able to just do things like that.

~ i love this girl ~


while in the states i finally picked up my breast pump and the adapter for our stroller so our infant seat fits nicely in there. i absolutely love our stroller. it is gorgeous! we decided to go with a red stroller and a red carseat. they look so nice! the stroller we went with was the uppababy vista. our best buddies have the same one in black...they love theirs, and we loved theirs. best investment yet i'd say. can't wait to walk all summer and try to burn some of this baby weight off!

we shall call him...flipper

i received a call from the hospital this morning at 6:45am saying they had an opening for an ultrasound at 8:30am and instructed me to be there by 8:10. i found this extremely strange as i already had my other appointment scheduled for 2pm today. weird? does 6 hours really make a difference? i guess when you're over 39 weeks pregnant and they suspect your baby to be breech, this makes things urgent.

i quickly got ready and rushed down to the hospital...so very eager to see my sweet little baby on the ultrasound monitor. i haven't gotten to see him since our 3D ultrasound in january, so i was very excited. the ultrasound tech was super nice and we chit-chatted about babies and pregnancies. she put her magic wand on me and says "this baby is definitely head down!" i don't think i've ever been so shocked in my life!

it was very exciting to know that he had made his way back down to the correct positioning. to be honest, it was a little bittersweet because i had gotten used to the idea of a c-section, and i definitely got used to the idea that he would be here sooner than anticipated. but...this is also such good news. if i can deliver him naturally, that means a way shorter recover time, a much shorter hospital stay, and so many good things. i've also read a lot about babies born by c-section and how a different bond is formed between them and their mommy. either way, all i care about is that the little one arrives in a healthy fashion...however he may choose to do so!

i also asked the ultrasound tech if she could guestimate his weight. yah, ok...bad idea. he's already 8lbs. so now i'm a little fearful that i'll have a huge massive baby. she did say it can be plus or minus one full pound, so that could be only 7 lbs...BUT, it could also be 9! yikes. oh well, he was so cute, so chubby, and just so lovable. i can't wait to meet him now.

it's a little tough to see, but this is his profile shot. you can see his little button nose and his nice pudgy kissable lips...i can't wait to snuggle with this little man!



so i'm offically back to the big waiting game. i asked my doctor how long he'd let me go overdue and he said at my 40 week appointment he would do a membrane sweep and an internal exam (yay...). at 41 weeks we'll start talking about induction if he still hasn't arrived. so it looks like we're in this for the long haul now!

because he flipped and flipped back, it seems that he's sitting way high up floating in his comfort zone again. i've gone back to drinking my red raspberry leaf tea, walking, and doing things around the house. i took it easy the past couple days just because i was fearful i would go into labour with a breech baby and they would have to perform an emergency c-section. i'll have to start walking as well...if this awful rain would ever stop! seriously, it's june.

i felt a little productive today. more than i have been the last few days at least. i baked some delicious chocolate chip/skor/pecan cookies and banana oatmeal muffins. so if nothing else, i'll just sit at home and eat baking for the next 20 days and see how much weight i can put on. sounds like a great plan to me...

whoooaaaa, big change in plans!

last weekend i really felt the baby drop. he's been sitting so low. i was no longer able to do my jeans up, had difficulties keeping my belly contained in my shirt, and all i was thinking about was when the contractions would start so i could finally get to hold my baby! my doctor has been in cambodia on a personal trip since may 18th (my last doctor's appointment) so i've been hoping that the baby would hold off until at least he got back from his trip. he finally made it back so things should be all good to go now. or so you'd think...

i had my doctor's appointment yesterday at 38 weeks 6 days...8 short days until my due date! expecting to go in and get some good words that things are progressing just as they should be, my cervix is thinning, starting to dialate, baby is low...you know, all the normal stuff you would expect to hear at nearly 39 weeks. well, this baby had other plans.

the doc took my measurements which were all normal, then he grabbed his doppler and was listening for the heartbeat. it took him a few seconds to actually locate it where we always do which of course gets a first-time-mom's mind wandering like mad. i kept reassuring myself - you've felt him move like crazy the past few days (and hours), so everything is fine. doctor says that the baby's heartrate is great, but he for some reason can't seem to hear it well enough to hear valves opening and closing. we've gotten the heartbeat in the same spot for like 25 weeks, so what's changed?

baby has turned breech. yes, at 39 weeks he's flipped into a breech position.

we've got an emergency ultrasound scheduled for wednesday, june 2 at 2pm to confirm the baby's positioning. should he remain breech, it looks like we'll be getting a c-section.

after thinking about things and letting my mind settle, it all began to make sense. i've never been able to vision myself having a baby (like the whole labouring process, etc). i've maintained that throughout my pregnancy. i've said to my close family & friends many times that i know i'm pregnant, i feel pregnant; but other than that, i don't picture myself having a baby. and to think, i was still saying that at 39 weeks. i had no desire to do prenatal as i figured it just wouldn't benefit us...what couldn't we learn from books and the internet?

maybe i'm crazy, but i think subsciously my body and mind knew something like this would happen.

and who am i to complain? i've had an absolutely blissful picture-perfect pregnancy! i've not let anything hold me back. i went to las vegas, i had no morning sickness, i've been able to remain active, i've absolutely loved every second of it. so why complain now? i'm going to wind up with a perfectly healthy baby regardless...so i think it just seems right to let the baby gods do their work; regardless if that means c-section or natural delivery.

i'm anxious to get this ultrasound out of the way on wednesday. i know he's breech, i can feel him way up in my ribs again. his head is positioned right under my right ribcage...a place i haven't felt a foot in a couple weeks as he's been sitting so low. my jeans do up again without difficulties, and it seems baby is just content floating up top.

it's hard to describe the overwhelming feeling when you're 39 weeks pregnant and have had the baby's head down forever and then one week...ONE WEEK before your due date he flips. i'm not scared; i have an amazing support team. from my husband, to my parents, my in-laws, my friends...i know everyone will help me out with my recovery. i guess i just wasn't quite prepared to hear the doctor's words at that time. but...life goes on. c-sections happen all the time and everyone winds up with a healthy happy baby. and i'm going to be one of them!

content with life

well, we're 9 days away from our due date now and i'm feeling content with being pregnant. all i heard my whole pregnancy was just you wait, just you wait and see how you're feeling in the last couple months...well here i am and i'm still perfectly content. yes, i do have the little aches and pains, i get tired very easily, and i'm still having major difficulties sleeping...but otherwise, i'm doing just fine!

perhaps i'm lucky, perhaps it's just this one pregnancy. i guess my next baby could be an awful pregnancy. they do say they're all different.

for right now, it feels like this baby is just far too content to ever come out. i've been experiencing braxton hicks contractions for the last couple months which leaves me questioning what real contractions feel like. i'm not nervous for labour yet, but i do feel nervous that i just won't know what to look for...what signs to watch for. everyone says i'll just know, but i wish there was some big flashing sign that would tell me i'm in labour. i am still 9 days away from my due date...so i'll just be patient and relax for a while.

i began my maternity leave yesterday and it's such a huge relief. i feel totally prepared for this baby. i think we've got everything we need to get us by for a bit. we opted to spend good money of a few of our baby items, and we've never regretted it. i'm in love with our carseat and stroller; and our other "big baby items" like the highchair, swing, and bouncy seat are so super cute. everything is here, waiting for our little man's arrival now.

here's our nursery thus far:



i think we've done a really good job. i wanted a gender neutral nursery and that's what we have. the walls are painted pale avocado and our accent colour is chocolate brown. we opted for dark furniture to go with our new hardwood flooring. his bedding is absolutely gorgeous in my eyes. we ordered it online from costco.ca and it turned out to be just what we wanted. i didn't want a really babyish room, i wanted a peaceful, relaxing room that blended in with the rest of our home. i really am so happy with how this turned out. we still have a few things left to hang on the walls, but otherwise - done!

the nursery is done and the baby gear is all here and ready to go, but i've got a fairly lengthy list of things i want to accomplish while on mat leave and before the baby actually arrives:

• clean up the office (pack up books on the bookshelf & reorganize it to hold the things we use regularly)
• clean out the laundry room so it looks presentable and organized
• clean all the basement floors
• get all the dusting done
• clean the inside of my car
• sanitize all of our bottles, soothers, etc.
• bake a lasagna to keep in the freezer for an emergency dinner
• change over one bank account to be a joint account for the baby
• get some sort of curtains or drapery for the nursery
• pack my hospital bag (the baby's is done already, it's just my stuff that needs to be bundled now)

anyways, i'm sure the list goes on...but that's my start.

here we begin

i've tried this whole blogging adventure a few times in my life...and i'm never successful. i never have a vision of what i want to blog about. do most blogs require a theme? a goal? a point to them?

i've decided to start blogging again...but not because i have found that vision, but because i'm embarking on a new journey in my life and i want to document every moment of it. i'm so over-the-moon excited to be a mommy. i've wanted kids since i was one myself; and i'm finally almost there!

i'm a mere 10 days away from my due date of june 8, 2010. i'm one of those lucky girls who have enjoyed being pregnant. i've actually loved it. i've got a bond with a little life that no one has even met yet. it's an amazing feeling to know that in just a couple of days (or weeks) this little baby boy will be in my arms. gracing the world with his presence to be loved unconditionally by his mommy and daddy.

it's amazing how your goals in life change the moment you discover the pregnancy. my life switched upside down. no longer did i want to be out of the home seeing my friends at every waking moment. i wanted to embrace this amazing home my husband created for me. i am doing my best to soak up every last ounce of positivity in life, because that's the outlook i want to give my little prince charming.

i've always envied my husband for the relationship he has with his mom. he respects her, he loves her, and he would do anything to help her out. and the best part...she would do the same for him. that's exactly what i want to be able to offer my children; my 100% unconditional love, support, guidance...giving them everything the world has to offer.

the countdown has begun...we have only 10 days left until the big due date!